About Me

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Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Saturday, November 29, 2008

I'm going to write a lot of annoying blogs now

I'm pulling an all nighter just because I don't want to sleep. I'm so angry at some people that claimed to be my friends be obviously aren't.
I need someone to talk to.

people are so fucked up.
tonight shouldn't have happened the way it did

I'm numb.
the end

Friday, November 28, 2008

Shawty you da hottest love the way you drop it

we can pop bottles all night

Baby you could have whatever you like

Late night sex so wet you're so tight

I'll gas up the jet for you tonight

Baby you could go where ever you like

I have absolutely nothing to do today because I have no class.
I think I'm just going to continue to surf the web and eat crackers with hummus all day.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

neopets yo

I'm done all my exams for this week and I'm really happy about it.
I wish I had something interesting to talk about but sadly my life isn't as exiting as I'd like it to be.
Lets seee what can I talk about?
I'm going to some house party on Friday in Rexdale. That's pretty exiting and sketchy but watevvz.
McDonalds didn't schedule me for any shifts this weekend which is weird and I really don't have any other plans for today other than makin' some big bucks on neopets, sleeping and going to internet survey class. After that I think I'm going to dinner with my dad and I'm going to beg him to bring me grocery shopping because the mini fridge in my room is empty. I'm possibly getting drunk with some people on my floor tonight.

Well I guess that's all. I hate that I feel the need to blog every day about my life because no one cares.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008



I finished it an hour early and I was like 4rth out of 100 people to finish. I swear to god I ran the fuck out of the class as soon as I finished and I didn't even look over any of my answers. I'm just so glad to be done that class.
My head hurts now.

I'll be so happy once this week is over.

My mass communications exam is in an hour and I'm really scared to take it.
I'm pretty sure me and Chantel still have reservations at the Humber room tonight so I guess we are going to a somewhat fancy restaurant for dinner.
I really want chocolate souffle.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I'm still in Barrie and I have an exam at school in Toronto in 2 hours.

I have an eye infection and I can't wear my contact lenses and I don't have a decent pair of glasses to wear until my eye gets better.

fml.This would happen during the week I have 3 exams and I need my eyes to study and write.
Hopefully it will go away by this weekend because I look like a freak.

Monday, November 24, 2008

I don't know when to go to sleep, ever.
I stay up until like 2 or 3 in the morning every night and it has to stop. I have to get my sleeping habits together NOW.

Scratch that, I have to get my life together NOW.

I'm so tired :(

so apparently

I'm a lost cause and I'm getting kicked out, or so says my mom.


Saturday, November 22, 2008

I heart surveys


1 Who kissed you on new years?

2 Did you have a New Year's Resolution this year?

3.Does it snow where you live?

4 Do you like hot chocolate?
if it's not too hot

5 Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
that would be amazing but sadly, no


1 Who was your Valentine?

2 When you were little did you buy Valentine's for the whole class?
lol idk

3 Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not?
yeahh...i don't like when it gets scared

4 What did you receive for Valentine's day?
ummmmmmmmmmm i think an i pod and a pillow or something.
i can't actually remember. ooh chocolates too.

5 What did you give for Valentine's day?
a bunch of cute little things with an amazing card, because i'm good like that.


1 Are you irish?
all the time

2 Do you like corned beef and cabbage?

3 What did you do for St Patrick's Day?

4 Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
holy shit yes


1 Do you like the rain?
yes :)

2 Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year?

3 Do you get tons of candy for Easter?

4 Do you celebrate 4/20?

5 Do you really like the month of April?
yes because is mah b dayz


1 What is your favourite flower?

2 Finish the phrase "April showers…"

3 Do you celebrate May 16th: National Piercing Day?

4 Is May anything special to you?
i don't think so


1 What year did/will you graduate from high school?

2 Did you do anything fun during this Month?

3 Have a favourite baseball team?


1 What did you do on the 4th of July?

2 Did you go on a vacation?

3 Did you blast the A/C all day?


1 What was your favourite summer memory of '08?
meeting matt graham

2 Did you have a sunburn?

3 Did you go to the pool a lot?


1 Are you attending college/school?
uni :D
its a blast

2 Do you like fall better than summer?

3 What happened this month?
so mucchhhhh, girltalk, foam party, Thursday night lights.


1 What was your last Halloween costume?
i love chantel's answer that was in here before mine...condom.
but mine was a french maid because I'm really original

2 What is your favourite candy?

3 What was your favourite thing(s) about this month?
random shit, partying, Gotham gala.


1 Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving?
my aunts

2 What are you thankful for?
yummeh food

3 Do you love stuffing?
always w/ gravy plz.

4 Anything special in this month?
absolutely nothing...welll i guess matts birthday


1 Do you celebrate Christmas?
obv not

2 Have you ever been kissed under the mistle toe?
no :(

3 Get anything special last year?

4 What do you want this year?
a camera

5 What do you love most about December?
Christmas i guess.

baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun

I'm scared to death that I'm going to fail one of my classes this semester but I'm too lazy to do anything about it.


I guess that means I deserve to fail. I'm promising myself I'll do better next semester but that really can't come soon enough.

Last night I threw up from drinking too much goldschlager (apparently my new favorite drink). I haven't puked because of drinking in about a month. This morning I wanted ocean spray white cranberry juice more than anything....I have no idea why. I've never even drank white cranberry juice before.

I just noticed that I always blog in really short sentences.

Friday, November 21, 2008

computer trouble

I had a crisis tonight. My computer stopped working just as I was in the midst of doing my final project for media writing. So I ventured around to see if I could get anyone to fix it, no one could. But after many stressful minutes I finally figured out that the hard drive wasn't plugged in so I opened the computer and plugged it back in. I'm a mechanic.

I'm exited to see my cute boyfriend tomorrow and party with him.
I need a way to get alcohol and I don't want to risk using my fake ID.


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Like a dear caught in the headlights

Don't forget, we've got unfinished business,
stories yet to unfold,
tales that must be retold,
and I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness,
keeps me wanting,
keeps me wanting more...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I miss youuu

I just watched the second part of the blue mountain video and I couldn't stop laughing.

My favorite quotes are:

Raven "17 hooded pakies came out of fucking nowhere"

Katie "and then all night you were like 'maa dick is sooo smalll'"

Zach "and then you see Pat's sister and her giant nipples"

Zach "I don't know what a brillo pad is but i hope it doesn't have anything to do with tampons"
raven "that is the last thing you want in your vagina, trust me"

Cynthia "this is going to sound weird but its not that weird being straddled from behind"

Andrew "what other movies are there to do"
Raven "we aren't doing a movie"
Andrew "penetration 5"
Raven "that's a horrible name"

Pat "this video better not end up on youtube or something, I do not disclose my information, okay?"
Can we please go back this march break? :(

I tried to pull an all nighter last night to finish my history essay but I gave up at 4 in the morning so I have to finish it tonight.

On the bright side I started talking to a friend I hadn't talked to in about 5 months and I'm happy.

fucked up quiz, fo reallzzzz


fake name:fuck you
are you an illegal immigrant:all the time
if you could change your birthday what would you change it to?:i wouldn't change it
favorite cotton candy flavor?:blue?
dumb things you like to do?: smash things when they don't work, mainly electronics
are you a nerd:no
most stupid human trick:this quiz
light or dark?:dark??


do you think it's possible to drown a rubber duck?: yes, i do it every night in the bathtub
if you had a set of golf clubs, what color would the handles be?:pink
while playing in the sprinkler have you ever tripped over it?:bahahaha no
have you ever blew your nose so hard the kleenex broke?:this question actually made me laugh so hard. The thought of a kleenex "breaking" was just too much for my brain to handle.
sticky tack or tape?:tape
which is better the mall or the mall parking lot?well seeing as there are no stores in the mall parking lot, the mall.
when your gum falls on the floor, do you pick it up and put it back in your mouth or do you leave it there?:i leave it
if you were to be killed by a fictional serial killer who would it be?:none, i'm going to live forever.
if you could have tea with a famous person, who would it be?:yo mom
would you invite me?:no

do you wear them?:no, i am a nudest
how about while you are sleeping?:no
speaking of sleeping, what's your favorite kind of soda?:dr.pepper
tall tees or tight tees?:um.........tight?
thongs, normal underwear, or NAKEY?:all 3 baby
if you had to wear a halloween costume for the rest of your life, what would it be?:a slutty one
would you rather wear an Eskimo coat....or an Eskimo!?an Eskimo, but only if he is sexy
do you think toothpicks are a nice fashion accessory?:defiantly

virgin/not a virgin/ you really have no idea:VIRGIN FO LIFE BABYYYY
gay/straight/crooked:a little bit of all of them.
have you ever made a "video"?:what kind of video...?
was paris hilton in it?:as a matter of fact....
have you ever slept with someone then found out you were related?:every night
hand job?:yummehhh
inside or outside....or both at once?:both at once
toys?:only the best
give or take:take
what's your favorite color?:bahahahahahah as if this question is the only normal one. pink

favorite weed?:the kind you smoke ;)
favorite land animal?:pig
favorite water animal?:manatee
favorite vegetable grown on a plant?:tomato..i don't care if its a fruit neither.
favorite fictional animal?:unicorn
do you discriminate flowers by their color?:I'm very racist towards flowers
if you had to train a plant to do anything, what would you train it to do?:sing
would you rather have a ferret or a squirrel?:squirrel even though they are creepy.
did you know that some people eat animals?!:GTFO RLY?
would you rather look at a plant or eat it?:eat it

eaten caviar?:yes
punched a rhino, if so did it hurt?:yeah, i punched that mother fucker outtt
snorted kool-aid....if so....what flavor?:i only snort blue flavor
started your hand on fire?:no
put your head through a wall?:no
had a famous person use your bathroom:no
have you ever tipped over in a canoe?:i cant recall
have you ever saw your uncle at the mall?: what kind of random as question is this?
have you ever lied about it?:i always lie about seeing my uncle at the mall
have you ever eaten something edible?:no, sorry i only eat inedible objects.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

break it dowwwn

These make my life.
HOLY FUCK I can't stop laughing.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

My favorite part is when Katie dips Pat at the end.

I always seem to be doing surveys on tuesdays

1. Name a quote from the song you're listening to.

When were you born?
April 10th, 1990.

Have you ever kissed someone you weren't dating?

What are you seriously wearing?
omg srsly I'm wearing my black and white checkered shirt, black leggings, acorn necklace, my fuzzy moccasin boots, silver headband.

When is the last time you saw the person you like/liked?

Ever kissed anyone on your top friends?

7. Describe the last time you were injured.
last Friday my foot started bleeding...?

Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?

9. Think of all your exes.
Would you take any of them back?
no no no

On your "lazy days" what would you be doing?
obv nothing.

Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Katie...because pat would want to redecorate
wells scare the shit out of my though

Most recent movie you have watched in theatres?
saw five

Why are you writing this note?
because i can

Favorite toy as a child?

Do you own a pair of Converse?
i did

Do you eat cookie dough?
if i had access to some I sure would

Have you ever kicked a vending machine?

Whens the last time you had gummy bears?

What color are your bedsheets?

Do people consider you smart?
no I'm dumb as fuck

What temperature is it outside right now?

Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone?

Could you live without a computer?

25. Do you have an iPod?

What movie do you know every line to?

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Sunday nighttt

Last person you hugged?
prob ma boyfrann

Had a long distance relationship?
kinda have one now

Who was the last person you held hands with?
Matt graham :)

At what age did you start noticing the opposite gender?
when i came out of the womb

Do you know someone who likes/loves you?

How do you handle a rainy day?
like i handle every other day

Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you?

Are you cold?

Do you have a lot to learn?

Have you ever dreamed a dream that came true?
omg yaaaa

Are you a patient person?

Are you an impatient person?
well, yes...durr

41. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers?

When do you feel your life energy is the strongest?
huh? wtf is life energy??????

Are you with someone right now?
my photography class

Last time you took a shower?
last night

Is anyone on your bad side now?

What jewelry are you wearing?
necklace, earrings, nose ring etc

Who's your favorite singers/band?
brand new

Next kiss?
soon i hope :)

Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?
ew no

How do people spell your name?

Would you wear your boyfriends/girlfriends clothes?
sometimes when i sleep over

Hows your life going as of right now?
its okay, it would be better if my curtains in m y room didn't fall down

How's your heart?
its okay

Last line of a song you heard?

What are you doing tomorrow?
sleeping, class, going out to dinner with chantel and Kaitlyn

Can you honestly say you're happy with who you are?

Is it cute when a boy calls you babe?

Will you keep your last name when you get married?
napolitano is the shiiit
it sounds like ice cream

Would you rather be drunk or high?
drunk :)

When is the last time you left your house?

Look through the 2 nearest windows what do you see?

Who's the last person that you felt stalked by?
no one....?

Are you worried about anyone right now?

Who are they?
not worried

Do you have a dishwasher?
at my house

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?

Would you survive in prison?
bahhaaaa no

If all of your friends were going on a road trip, would you?

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?

Would you cut off your little finger for $200, 000?
Sorry I don't participate in saw like activities

Last drug you take?
Advil or weed

What can you not wait to do?
to party on Friday

Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
that would be sweet though

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Whats the last thing you ate & why?
McDonald's because i was on break thurrrr

Are you a friendly person?
yes :)

Service of your cell phone?

Have you kissed anyone with a name that starts with a "C"?
hmmmm nope

What's the worst thing someone can do to you?
betray my trust

What's your middle name?

Where is your cell phone?
beside me

How are you sitting?

What brand is your shirt right now?
American eagle

Ever been to Georgia?

Do you flirt a lot?

What do you call your parents?
Mommy and daddy

What irritates you most on the Internet?
when it freezes your computer

Do you watch movies with your parents?

What are your plans for the future?
to be amazing


I have bad luck

I can prove it. Yesterday my pictures for my final photography project didn't turn out and I almost got fired for my job. Then I took a taxi to the bus station downtown to catch a bus to Toronto but the bus didn't come for an hour so I had to wait. While I was waiting I discovered that the greyhound bus went all the way down to Toronto a half an hour before the other bus would come but I didn't have enough money for it. Okay, so they bus I was supposed to take comes and I go to pay on the bus like I always do but the bus driver gets mad at me and tells me to pay inside. So i go inside and see Katie who is at the bus station with her boyfriend and ask to use her phone to call my mom to tell her what I was doing because mine had died. After I was done the rude bus driver comes into the bus station says "are you coming? I'm holding p the bus for you and now I'm late! And I saw you talking on he phone...so are you coming?" I asked him if he went down to the yorkdale station which was where I needed to go and he said no so I told him to screw it and leave and not to be so rude next time. FUCKING BUS DRIVERS. So I just about gave up on my dreams of going to Toronto for class tomorrow when the guy working at the desk tells me that there is one more bus right down to yorkdale but it costs more money than I have. Then he said "since I know you need to get down to Toronto I can talk to the bus driver and see if he will give you a child's pass for the bus ride." SO to make this story short I got to ride the bus for free because I'm awesome and the bus driver wasn't a fucking g prick like the last one.

But my bad luck didn't stop last night...oh no, my curtains fell and broke this morning and my room is facing the sun so it is most likely going to turn into a sauna in there. WOOO! And I have a 10 page essay that I haven't started due tonight. Sooo stoked to finish that.

Sunday, November 16, 2008


I love texts like these:

"OMG your blog probably just made my life! Hahaha, and btw you're not fat, you're beautiful."


large and in charge?

I absolutely love when my mother has random spaz attacks and calls me fat.
She pretty much said that I looks like shit because I have piercings. I drink/party too much (apparently) so I'm fat because alcohol make you fat.OMG.
I'm also a slut because I have a condom and have shitty taste in cloths because I wore blue leggings (that made me look like I had cellulite. LMAO I forgot I am a 40 year old women)

Well excuse me while I go starve myself so I'm not so large.


this song makes me

want to dance around really awkwardly...like I'm from the 90's or something...
regardless I cant stop listening to it.

This weekend has been really fun so far but I'm not looking forward to going back to my rez room and cleaning all the empty beer bottles and cards on the floor. Next time we will play a full game of kings and we will get to do waterfall...because it sounds sexy.

It's snowing like a mother fucker outside and I am disapproving of it but it had to come sometime...


Thursday, November 13, 2008

hallo weekend

Tomorrow will be amazing.
My 2 best friends are coming to visit me in Toronto and we are getting hella drunk. We haven't all been drunk together since after prom.




Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I'm going to go crazy with all the work I have to do this week.
I have 3 final projects due next week, one of those being a 10 page history essay. History has never been my strong subject. And just guess how much percent its worth? 40% so fml.

I'm also going to go crazy with the fact that I'm not going to get to see Matt this weekend and we wont be able to have our late night drunken meals in front of his tv before I sleep over at his house :(:(:(

And this is what I do when Chantel leaves me alone in her room to do homework.

I'm retarded,
I know


oh and i think i'll just post a survey now.

Ever wonder if you're some one's everything?

Last song played more then three times?
ditch that

Last person to fall asleep with?
my boyfriend

Have you ever been tied to someone?

Ever skip class?
2 words...grade twelve

Last fast food consumed?

When do you want to die?


Did you take a nap today?

Who got mad at you last?

Last car you were in?
My mommy's

Last person to call you beautiful?

What colour is your room?

Where's your family?

Could you use some sleep right now?

iPod or mp3?
i pod

Who'd you have lunch with?
no one because it's 11 am

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

Do you like to cuddle?

Have you ever made out against a car?

Have you ever kissed someone you weren't dating?

Kissed someone that had a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Are you ticklish?

Is the last person you kissed older than you?

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
none of your business

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
why would i ever have to do that?

Whats on your bedroom floor?
all my bags full of cloths

Whens the next time you will kiss somebody?
probably not for awhile because i wont get to see Matt for like a week or 2

Does your ex have a job?

How many piercings do you have?

Ever kissed in the rain?

How's your heart lately?
it's been better

Any plans for tomorrow?
school, moving into my room finally

Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
when it rains

If your best friend liked your ex, what would you do?

Can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon?
i can't tie it, i always wish i could though

Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?

Do you like the last person you kissed?
i hate them so much. joking Matt g

Where is the person you have feelings for right now?
at school

Do you bump into someone’s arm if you want to hold their hand?

Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Do you want any tattoos?

Wheres the weirdest place you've changed clothes?
a shower

Who was the last guy you talked to?
James prob

Has a boy put their arm around you in the past 5 days?

When is the last time you were in a photo-booth taking pictures with friend?
omg like grade 8

Do you think you have made a difference in any one's life?
i hope so

When's your birthday?
April 10

What's the last thing you laughed at?

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
got dressed

Who do you hate currently?
no one

Do you get the recommended eight hours of sleep a night?

What is the best thing to do in the morning to wake up?
get dressed and such

Who is normally awake in the mornings with you?
my cat

Do you eat breakfast?
not usually

Do you like the morning or night better?
nights ;)

If you had a choice, would you just sleep in everyday?

Who's locker is right next to yours?

Have you been in a physical fight yet this term?

Are you a bus student?
sorry I'm not in high school anymore...

What do you normally do before school starts?
get dressed

Do you like school?
not currently

Have you been suspended/expelled yet this year?

What is your favorite subject?

Is it true that most people fall asleep in English class?

Did you piss off a substitute yet this year?
never had one

what do you like to wake up to?
a boy :)

Do you like the school dances?
they are okay

How old is your school?
like 6-7 years i think

what school you go to?
Guelph humber

Do you miss anyone?

Ever been to a hockey game?

When was the last time you hung out with a friend that moved away?

Are you more of an inside or outside person?

So do you eat in front of your friends?
...wtf? yes

Have you ever been called a slut/whore?

Does anyone hate you for no reason at all?

Do you have a computer?
no...i need ma laptop soon :(

How many times a day do you eat?
idk it varies

Who was the last person in your bedroom?

Would you rather be at home or outside with friends?

Are your mom αnd dad together?

Is your family whole, or is it broken up?
broken up

Is your family number one?

Besides the arguing and such, are you happy with your home life?
i don't live at home so yes

One thing that people might not know about you?
my favorite animal is a pig
i like to have extra sauce on everything i eat.

the end.
longest survey of my life.

who else fails @ life?

There is nothing more depressing than finding out that you suck at the thing that you love.
I can't seem to get a fucking decent mark in my photography class with my pictures.
I should just give up.

OH MY GOD. I'm at the point now where I don't even want to unpack. My stuff is going to stay in bags until May, I swear.

I'm starting to eat healthy starting yesterday and I'm possibly going to the Humber gym some time...this week...maybe.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Take your ass to the crib and - Ditch that nigga

This weekend was pretty amazing in general.
Friday night me and Chantel went to semi, had about 10 drinks from the bar even though we didn't have wristbands to use the bar then danced. We knew no one but we had a good time.
Then we went back to residence where I met the person whose room I'm taking tomorrow in the elevator. Awkwarrddd. Hung out with some random people in the S building and drank whisky from a flask. I want a flask.

Then Saturday I bought a sweet ass pair of moccasin boots that I never ever want to take off then went to party with my boyfriend at Amanda's house. The best part of my night would have to be Matt's epic table fall knocking everything off it and having a girl talk with Jessica and Amanda as we sat in the middle of the road at midnight.
I need more weekends like this.

Work tomorrow then officially moving into my room on residence.
Lets hope I actually get to move this time and I'm not stuck in the shitty room I have now.
PS- I used my fake ID for the first time to buy cigarettes and it worked ;)
Yeeees, life is good.
Someone come visit me at school next weekend pleaseee.

I could have written this


Thursday, November 6, 2008

fuuuckk workkkkkk

I'm apparently working the day I'm supposed to move all my shit into my real room and next Saturday when I will most likely be hella hung over and in TORONTO. SO NO. I'M NOT COMING IN. FUCK YOU.

In other news I tried to have a nap today in my room on the ground level which was successful until my neighbor decided to blare techno music at 3 pm. It sounded like I was living next door to a club and the same beat was playing over and over and over again. The funny thing is when I came back to my room 3 hours later the same beat was still playing. WHAT THE FUUUCKK? I'm so glad I'm not living on that floor after this weekend.

Plus Matt found some sketchy beer bottles full of beer in my ceiling last night...they looked like they'd been there for years. Ew.

turn up yo swag

First night in rez was fun.
Chilled with Chantel, James and Matt all day pretty much.
Ate 3 burritos for dinner, played play station and Mario party at about 2 in the morning. Birdo won, dumb slut.
Ended up going to bed at 4 in the morning. Typical time for residence.

Semi tomorrow :)
PS- this is my 200th post.
PPS-I can't spell.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Change of plan, again

I was all stoked to move to my room on R5 tomorrow but nooooo....
I went to go talk to the lady in charge of the residence stuff today to ask if was okay that me and Chantel move in tomorrow.
She said "oh, you said you were moving in, in 2 weeks so the room isn't available until next Monday."
That's great. So I'm like "now I have no place to sleep tomorrow or after semi," so she gives me a temporary room on R1 where all the RAs and the foreign kids live. Fun.
And I'm not even moving to R5 anymore, now it's R8 because she got me and Chantel's rooms mixed up. YAY more stairs.
So moving day keeps being pushed back and now it's on Monday (hopefully).

My first official night on rez is tomorrow night...in my temp room....


Monday, November 3, 2008

The only way to move now

is forward.

New photos

up on my flickr account yo.


I'm never telling you any of my personal shit again
because you just go and make jokes about it.
It's so not cool, it makes me feel like shit, it makes me think you don't care about me.

You can't even begin to understand what I've been through.