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Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Monday, June 30, 2008

Seven things

So I was listening to this song and thought "well this is our relationship in a nutshell, accept for the old levi's part"

I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we've shared

It was awesome but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care

Now we're standing in the rain
But nothings ever gonna change
Until you hear, my dear

The 7 things I hate about you
The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
And when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

It's awkward and it's silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
And when you mean it, I'll believe it
If you text it, I'll delete it
Let's be clear
I'm not coming back
You're taking 7 steps here

The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
And when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

Compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention
The 7 that I like

The 7 things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, you old Levi's
And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined everythings alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you

Anyways I'm off to the movies to see sex and then cityyy :)

Oh, hey liar!

I don't understand you one bit.

You tell me that you've made a decision to stay away from girls for the next little while. I thought that was very mature and grown up of you but then I see pictures of you making out with a girl at some party. DO me a favor? Next time you want to keep a secret from me, make sure people don't take pictures.

Nothing ceases to amaze me with you anymore. Why are you even bothering to be my friend when you just keep lying to me? I never lie to you about things.

Seriously, don't lie to me and tell me that you didn't hook up with anyone when you clearly did. Which brings me to my next point: why should I even trust anything you say ever again?

You are pathetic. I hope you become another name on her list because that is all you are worth.

Down town

Soooooo today me and Pat went downtown and got drunk which was fun for about half an hour but then it got boring.

We texted a lot of people and invited them to come but NO ONE texted us back. I swear God hates me and never wants me to have a good time.

So me and Pat walked around downtown and went to McDonalds then went home. I'm still pretty drunk. I really just wanted to have a good time tonight but whatever.

AHHH LIFE IS SO GAY RIGHT NOW. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT TO HANG OUT WITH USSSS? wtf? Its not like anyone haas any thing to do on a Sunday night.

Anyways I really hope I'm not hung over tomorrow.The room is kinda spinnyyyyy. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

In time

I'm so exited that I don't have to work for a whole entire week starting tomorrow! (Well, unless American Eagle schedules me which is highly unlikely.) So I'm pretty sure I made close to 300 dollars this week which is pretty sweet. So then I guess all that hard work at Mcdicks was worth it? Maybe...

In other news I really wish things would progress with me and my crush because I'm starting to doubt the fact that he actually likes me. Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm over thinking this whole thing and I'm extremely impatient. Good things come to those who wait, or so I'm told. So I suppose I'll wait and possibly something good will happen.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Happy long weekend

It is the long weekend which means EVERYONE MUST EAT AT MCDONALDS ON THE HIGHWAY. Yep, and that's where I worked, all freaking day. I didn't see the floor in front of the front counter for eight hours because there were so many people on it. The only words I heard all day were BIGMAC QUARTER POUNDER SNACK WRAP COKE FRIES MCFLURRY NUGGETS HAPPY MEAL MCHICKEN CHEESEBURGER CAN YOU PUT KETCHUP IN THE BAG TO GOOOOO???!!!
AHHHH I never want to go back, too bad I work tomorrow morning :(
Next week is going to be fun because me and my best friend Pasquale have a week off work together. WOOO :D


So I should probably stop having such high hopes for things.
I thought prom was going to be all Laguna beach and such, it wasn't. It sucked.
I thought grad was going to be amazing like it is on the movies, it wasn't (well accept for the part where we all thew our hats).
I wish that just for once I could hope for something to be amazing and it ACTUALLY be amazing. That would be, well, amazing :)

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Dear Zach,

"Now being single, I see the light. It feels good man. I'm free to do what I please. No longer trapped. I can be myself. "

That's a good thing to hear your ex-boyfriend say after you have broken up.

Well guess what buddy? I'm really over you.THERE IS NO ATTRACTION ANYMORE.
All I wanted was to be friends and you wanted to make it complicated by wanting to kiss me and shit. If you want to be my friend then start acting like it, start calling and making plans more. But you know if I made you feel so "trapped" and "not yourself" back then, then no doubt about the fact that I'm doing it now. I don't want to lose a best friend but you better start acting like a friend if you want this friendship to go any further.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Some things I will miss about high school

I know, I know I said I was the happiest person alive to be leaving highschool but hey, I'm obviously going to miss a few things.

Like working out in the weight room when I actually cared about working out.

The big caf

When we used to not hate each others guts

That fucking statue in the foyer


and of corse big, yellow school buses

Photography class


and soulja boy


a message to a boy

You're really cute and nice.

Lets hangout and get to know each other, ok?


Tuesday, June 24, 2008


He made me smile a lot today even though we didn't talk much. I bearly know the boy but I'm so happy!

I really hope this actually works out and I hope his first impressions of me wont change. But lets face it, I need someone NEW.

High school is mother fucking done and I never have to look at any of those retarded people I went to school with again. They think its okay to go telling everyone that I am going to fail writers craft when I don't even talk to ANY of them. I'm glad I'm such a popular subject.

So here's to a new start, new beginnings, meeting new people, and treasuring the old ones that I actually care about.

Monday, June 23, 2008


I want a boy that calls me babe and plays cool video games so I can borrow them.

That would be sweet.


Saturday, June 21, 2008

I'd rather be sleeping

By describing today you might think I had a bad day but it was actually pretty mediocre.

Fist off I go into work at 1pm when I'm not scheduled to be in until 4pm. Then the manager asks me if I want to stay until 9pm, I agree. It wasn't the smartest idea seeing that I don't know how to do a lot of things at McDonald's. It was the lunch rush and I really wanted to kill myself. So I'm pretty sure it was busy for the whole 8 hours I was working and that it never died down. I had a stomach ache while working but when people are yelling at me to get their fries and there are none ready, I really cease to care what part of my body hurts.

Then after my shift I walked to Innisdale in the rain to catch the bus. I swear its the only time I've ever walked in the rain and not gave a fuck if I got wet.

The best part of today is that I got to work with my crush :)

Friday, June 20, 2008


I wish I was more confident in myself and didn't say such stupid ass things.

It would have helped if he knew I didn't have a boyfriend though.
Oh fml :(

Thursday, June 19, 2008

High school is done

Well pretty much anyways. Today is my first exam.

But I'm so fucking glad this hell ride is over. I swear I couldn't stand to look at any of these people I go to school with for another year. I think I've come out of high school with the people that will stick by me and I've also come out hating 98 percent of the school's population. Whatever.

So let me drown so I can breathe again
I’m through choking and suffocating
On alter egos and alter motives
Which weigh you down and take control of
The way you are and the things that you need
The life you live and the dreams that you dream
Distort and blur all in slow motion
They broke you down and now your broken
And it’s sadder than the saddest movie
I ever saw but without the beauty
So I stopped watching, I stopped caring
I've lost all interest and I stopped wearing
These plastic smiles, I’ve washed my hands clean
Forget that you forgot about me
And I’m living life, the big city feeling
It’s better than suburban dreaming
Living off the friends that hate you
Talk shit on me like I don't know who
My real friends are anymore, no,
I dont know you anymore

And it’s sadder than the saddest movie
I ever saw, but without the beauty
So I stopped watching, I stopped caring

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


So today I went to the vet because my guinea pig has been sick and I didn't know what was wrong with it. Apparently my guinea pig has scurvy....wtf? So guinea pigs don't make vitamin c so they have to eat things with vitamin c in it. Too bad I havn't been feeding him anything with vitamin c :(

So now he's on anti biotic and the vet visit cost 200 dollars. I swear my mom had a fit when she had to pay it. She kept yelling at the fact that we had to pay 200 dollar doctor bill for a 25 dollar guinea pig.

I love you Marty and I promise I'll never stop feeding you vitamin c!!!!

This reminds me of you

I want to be your last first love
that you'll ever have.
Lying here beside me, palms and eyes open wide,
I want to be your last first kiss
for all time.


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

it's crunch time

I have 4857435903 assignments due in school and only 2 days to do them, which brings me to question myself why I'm on the computer.


I can't wait till' fridayyyyyyyy :D

Monday, June 16, 2008

My life

This song pretty much describes my outlook on life recently.

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
It’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else
But with nobody in your bed
The night is hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I’m alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Because this problem's gonna last
More than the weekend

Well, Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die
I’m a little bit scared of what comes after

Do I get the gold chariot
Do I float through the ceiling

Do I divide and fall apart?
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
This ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up
(everyone now)
So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try
I know you'll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails,
Turned into a hate factory
But, we all got wood and nails
Turned into a hate factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
Turned into a hate factory
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

Sunday, June 15, 2008


Yesterday my mom asked me why I always run to the phone when it rings.
I told her that I like to think that someone is calling for me.

Too bad no one ever is.

I am a vampire

What a waste of a weekend.

I was actually exited to hang out with my friends tonight and go to summmmerrrfesttttt but by the time we got there it was closing. Then while we were driving back from Hicktown to Barrie trying to figure out what else to do on this Saturday night Pat got called in to work graveyards.

Tonight was a waste of straightening my hair and a new outfit.

It just feels like everyone else in the world is out there having fun but me. I deserve some fun. don't you think?

A week today I was off getting drunk on Katie's dock having a blast...that's depressing.

I spend wayyy too much time on my computer.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Life is waiting for you

I've come to realize that no matter how nice you are someone is always going to hate you, no matter how skinny you are someone is always going to think you are fat and no matter how pretty you are someone is always going to think you are ugly.

I'm done with letting little things bring me down. I'm done with all you nasty people that find stupid reasons to hate me. Bring on the good times because life is too fucking short to care what people think about you.

Keep the blood in your head
And keep your feet on the ground.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Wasting words on lower cases and capitals

I don't know what to do right now. I have no one to talk to and I just don't know what to do.

I'm so fucked up for thinking anyone could like me the way you do. Why the fuck would they? I don't even know what is wrong with me, I just want to slip into a coma and never come out.

I'm so tired of trying for people. I'm so tired of people walking all over me. I'm so fucking tired of being rejected that I wonder why I even try.

Why do I even exist?

I really can't do anything right now but sit here and cry over stupid shit. I'm fucking pathetic.


This is going to be the most fucked up relationship, I can tell.

I'm always going to love you and care about you but I just don't know how I'm going to react when I hear you talk about other girls you like.

You say that we are "stuck in the friend zone" so why do you think you can still touch me the way that you used to?

I don't want to lose you but it is going to be hard for both of us to make this new relationship work but I swear, I'll make it work.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I officially don't really care about anything right now. I don't feel like eating anymore, I just want to sleep until exams are done.

I hate feeling so depressed that all I want to do is sleep.

I wish prom wasn't done.

Monday, June 9, 2008

So prom was shitty, it was a big waste of money but whatever.

Afterprom was pretty amazing minus any drama that happened.

I wish Pat would put the pictures upppppp :(

I feel slightly indescribable right now and it really sucks.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Hey bitch, maybe you should try wearing cloths that don't make you look like a fucking fat pig with a big fat beer belly trying to stuff herself in an extra small fucking shirt.

I'm fucking done with all of you bitches that make my life a living hell. I'd like to see one of you actually confront me in person.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Let the fuck go

It has been 2 years. Stop missing what you never had.

Sure I miss friends I have lost in the recent past but that stuff takes time to get over. Let the past be in the past and stop bringing up how much you miss him.

I've already let go of everything I have lost but sometimes I think maybe I should have let go of you too. Maybe you would have liked that, then you wouldn't have to hear me "freak out" or "complain" anymore.

Yeah, I bet you'd like that.

Monday, June 2, 2008

I really don't understand how me puking at a party is such big news that people have to tell all their friends about it. Seriously, don't people have anything better to talk about?

I hear thunder outside, mmm I love thunder storms.

I better go before the power goes out.


Sunday, June 1, 2008

Beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer, never fear

No one every mentioned this rule to me before. Oh god I wish they did. Last night I ended up puking at the party because I drank beer then liquor, then more beer followed by more liquor.

But anyways last night was fun before I puked. My night included warm beer, meeting new people, meeting people that knew me but I didn't know them, trading stupid boys my empty beers for their full ones, JACK DANIELS, truth or dare, stealing hats, vodka in sunny d bottles, high fives, losing my purse, stumbling, a boy from my film class calling me BABE every 5 seconds, and some drunk texting.

This was the conversation with me and my mom when I got home
MOM: "So how was the party?"
ME: "I puked"
MOM: "you were drinking"
ME: "yeah"

I love how she doesn't care.

Today I was hella hung over and I called my work to see if I was working. Of course they gave me a 7 hour shift. They have given me 3 hour shifts for the past 2 weeks so why did they decide to give me this long ass shift when I feel like death.