Tomorrow I'm going to work until 4 then going to Caribana with Kristyn. After I'm going to meet up with David and have beers on a patio which I haven't done in a very long time. Then we smoke and sleep or I'll just sleep cause I can never stay awake at his apartment.

Lately I have been working out more often an harder cause I'm finally stating to see some progress in regards to my body. Plus the more critical I am of myself the harder I work out which i love. I WILL shape my body into something I'm proud of. The end.

I'm pretty sure

one of the reasons I broke it off with the last guy I was remotely seeing is because his family was poor.

forever alone / marrying for money fuck you all.

I wrote my first complaint letter today

To subway restaurants LOL:

I visited this location yesterday and upon paying I realized that I had forgotten my debit card which was my only means of paying. The manager then proceeded to yell at me when I suggested I would take a trip home to get my debit card to come back and pay saying that he had to throw the sub out and that I was wasting his food and money. I suggested he try my credit card which was not activated at the time and when it did not work he harassed me to use the phone in the store to call and activate my card. When I declined he threw my card back at me yelling at me "why would you come here if you don't have any money?" in front of other customers as well as his employees.

I work in fast food customer service and under no circumstance would we treat a customer the way your employee treated me. Yelling at a customer is never acceptable and I am surprised at the lack of customer service that your company has provided.

Unfortunately I did not retrieve the name of the manager who yelled at me but he was a middle age man of Indian decent working around the time of 2 pm on July 27, 2011. I did not appreciate the way he treated me in his restaurant and will not be returning to that location.

Everything is going horribly

and I know I shouldn't complain but I'm going to. Lack of face to face human contact on my part (that isn't at work) is driving me crazy. I guess I can't spend a whole day alone. Maybe I can. I don't know anymore. Being here is making me upset.

I'm gross and I hate the way I look

I don’t even care what anyone says anymore. Bye.

Kill them with kindness

2 people at work have been super shitty to me for no reason so instead of being a cunt to them like I should I'm going to be the nicest bitch to both of them. THE NICEST BITCH.

It's really the only way I know how to deal this situations like this. I hope I'm so nice to them that they feel like lard for treating me the way they did. Holla at your girl.

New comforter, fresh sheets, just went for a run, just had a cold, long shower and now it's time for a nap before I work my first Rexdale overnights.
Mmmm.

I don’t think I will ever be ok. Haven’t seen this side of me since first year university and it scares me.

So here's the dilemma

I’m trying to patch things up with my guy friend from work because we used to be really close before a bunch of shit (that was his fault) happened.

So I was complaining to people at work about why he didn’t want to be friends with me even though I didn’t nothing wrong. I also texted him asking this. Little did I know that one of the girls that was working likes him and thinks now that I’m trying to “get with” him.

She ends up going out to a club with him that night and someone prank calls him several times. She tells him it’s me cause I want him and then tells everyone at work that I need to “get off his dick”. I had in fact not called him that night but he did call me 3 times yelling “don’t call this number again.” She then proceeds to tell everyone that I said “that should be me out with him not her”.

OH OK.Yesterday during my work trip to Wonderland I was informed that she likes him and thinks I’m a threat and that I like him too blah blah blah and that I should tell her that I’m not interested in him.

If she is so insecure about herself that she thinks I’m a threat by trying to be his friend again then she can get over herself cause I am in no way, shape or form attracted to him so she can just deal with it and keep spreading rumors around work to make her look like a stupid, immature bitch.

At this point I’m not even sure this friendship is worth trying for because it is worth a lot less than the effort I’m using to try to put the pieces back together.

I want to write about my day but I’m too tired. All I can do is scroll…and eat…and be sunburnt.

And maybe I’ll try to not think about how unneededly complicated this situation has become.

Ok bye.

I want to throw up I'm so upset.
Jk I already did.
Well that and a mix of spicy sauce didn't sit well with my tummy.

I just spent the last 4 days everywhere but home.
I went to Barrie, finally saw Katie and went out to the bar with friends.
I went on a bike ride around Barrie the next day with David.
We ate goulash then went back to Toronto.
I went to go visit my new house in Georgetown and had the most boring trip to ikea.
Yesterday I sat by the pool till it was time to work.
I feel discriminated at work cause I'm not Indian and all the girls I work with DO NOT understand that it is rude to speak their language to one another while we are working.
It drives me fucking insane.
I also have no love life and no more boy toys. Le sad. So much for slut summer :""""""""(

I hate myself a whole lot less this year

because I don’t look like a chubby fuck :’)

Blog post from one year ago

"I just don’t want to be THAT girl this time.

I can’t give myself physically to guys anymore without wanting some commitment so I’ve stopped “hooking up” with boys.

I just over think everything I guess. If I do stuff with guys they’ll think I’m a slut. If I don’t, they think they wont get any from me and wont want to stick around. I loooose either way. FML"

looool I was such a pussy a year ago.

I will be that girl this time. I will give myself physically to guys and not give a fuck because I give no shits about commitment.

I still over think things but I don't care if a guy thinks I'm a slut. They should be more worried about what I think of them.

Guys don't stick around for long anyways.

I love new me.

IHATEBOYSIHATEBOYSIHATEBOYSIHATEBOYSIHATEBOYSIHATEBOYSIHATEBOYSIHATEBOYS

Like it's cool to text me when you want to have sex but other than that you don't.

I feel used but jokes on you, I'm using you too :')

Tonight

Grocery store to buy the essentials…wine and apples.

Run till I’m too exhausted to live.

Sleep until 10pm then get drunk off wine by myself while looking slutty for the kegger that I’m going to go to afterwards when my friends get home from girl talk.

Early mornings

put me in such a shit mood. They make me think of how crap my life is even though it’s really not and I’m just tired and grumpy.

It makes me not look forward to anything that I’m going to be doing throughout the day.

I just want so say “fuck it” and go back to bed until 1 pm because I don’t feel so mentally screwed up when I get up at that time.

I thought everything was going to go back to normal after I told my ex friend that I wanted to be friends again. It totally wasn't.
At work we didn't joke, we didn't rip on each other, we didn't try to make plans to chill or at least he didn't.
I had to force myself to try and start conversations with him which failed.
I miss the way things used to be and I want to get that friendship back to the way it used to be so badly.
Maybe it is just too far gone. I wonder if he even cares that it will never be the same between us?

Fuck this

getting high for the first time in forever and watching kick ass. No guy deserves my time. UUUH BYE

I heard that you like the bad girls
honey, is that true?

So the guy I really like clearly doesn't want to hangout plus is moving to Vancouver at the end of the summer so FUCK THAT.
The other boy I'm doing whatever with no one likes so I'm not quite sure what to do about that situation...I care too much about what people think about my current boy interests.
So there goes my love life once again. Back to not having one weeee.

You, you turn me upside down whenever you're around.

Sucker love is heaven sent.
You pucker up, our passion's spent.

Everything is really ok.
I wish the boy I really like would text me to hang out but for right now I'll just stick to the boy I like that actually texts me to hang out who only likes me for sexi times. :) Not that, that is a complaint.
Tomorrow I'm hopefully going to see his new house, maybe going to the beach with my Indian friend but if not I'm cleaning my room.
Pride weekend is fast approaching and it is going to be the greatest weekend of the summer, I can just feel it :)
I made up with my ex best friend from work because I was going insane not hanging out with him or talking to him for the past 2 months. I missed him. I am so fucking weak.
Anyways a few pictures of me from the past few days: