By the end of this week I will have worked 30 hours.
Motherfucking shitty.
I went to see Avatar yesterday. It was good for a 3 hour long movie.
This weekend is going to be so ridiculously amazing.
Tomorrow we are going out for Chantel's birthday then to the Queens for New Years.
Friday me and a bunch of people are taking a limo downtown to hit up the bars
and Saturday is a house party at my friends house.
Being hungover is not an option for the next three days but unfortunately it is inevitable.
Here's a picture of me and Marlin because I know how much you missed me.

EVERYONE GO GET ONE NOW

it tastes like italy.

I have 700 ish dollars and I'm going to buy my DSLR soon.
I want to buy the Nikon D3000.
Tonight I'm going over to Matt's house then to the Queens for some boxing day celebration but after I work 3 till 9 at McHELL of course.

Pictures from last night:


I got my hair cut and went to the bar last night with my best friend I haven't seen in 3 months.
I met a cute boy and we hooked up and I probably shouldn't be doing things like that but every time I drink I always do things with random boys.
YAYAYAYYY SINGLE ME BUT NOT.

I tried to fight it
I tried so hard
and every day
I pray to god
that you and me were meant to be
but you had another
you had a lover

So I do this thing where I make myself look like I'm going to cry when I talk to people that make me nervous. Could be why I was asked if I was okay three times today by managers at work.

I AM OKAY. I can't help it if I make weird faces when I'm talking to you.
I'm fucking strange.

My year in retrospect

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Drank alcohol legally

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made a new years resolution but this year it's going to be
1. do better in school
2. concentrate on things that matter

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What countries did you visit?
None, lol

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A camera

7. What date(s) from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Nothing before summer because January-April sucked so hard.
Pretty much every night spent drunk with Matt, Canada day, visiting Amanda at residence during the summer, drinking coolers and having a dance party in Pat's car, the weekend I bought my hamster, going to Jenna's house one random night, wasaga with Matt, hotel party/Andrew's party, David's birthday, welcome week in general (MSTRKRFT!!!), visiting York University, limo/bar night with Chantel, getting drunk at H&M, nuit blanche, seeing where the wild things are in an empty theater, every night spent drinking in Chantel's room, flip cup tournament, anti-gala, Halloween weekend, trips to the dance cave, Connor's birthday, getting my tattoo
May-now fucking ruled.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting another job I guess

9. What was your biggest failure?
Smashing my laptop on the floor while I was drunk

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Only allergic reactions from eating pineapple

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My netbook

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Everyones :)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My own, my friend's, certain boys
but mostly my own

14. Where did most of your money go?
Sadly I'd have to say booze

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Halloween weekend

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
All things black eyed peas, SOMEBODY CALL 911 SHAWTY FIRE BURNIN ON THE DANCEFLOOR AWOAHOOOOOOOAH

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder?
Happier :) thank god

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Homework

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being hungover

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my family

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
no

23. How many one night stands?
Define 1 night stands?
No sex with random people just other things...

24. What was your favourite TV program?
skins, gossip girl

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yeah

26. What was the best book you read?
The book of Negroes

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
crystal castles, the knife, SALEM, phoenix etc...

28. What did you want and get?
A job in Toronto

29. What did you want and not get?
Good grades

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
UP

31. What did you do on your birthday?
Matt came to visit me in Toronto and we got drunk

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If the first half of the year was as good as the last half

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Jeans didn't exist for me, I had an obsession with tights. Still do...

34. What kept you sane?
My blog

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I fancy you the most :)

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Oh hey politics, I don't care

37. Who did you miss?
Matt

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Uhhh I didn't meet a lot of new people this year that I kept in thouch with but I'm going to have to go with the boy I most recently liked.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Don't fucking settle

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold

Skeleton Boy

You're too much,
I take it that we're over
should we even care at all?
Too much, too much
lets shake hands and say goodbye

Before the sun comes out
shake hands and say

WEE

Hi!!!
I'm excited, I'm happy
which is a big deal for me.
I'm so stoked to get drunk with Matt Graham in his basement and have sleepovers and cuddles and see his mom and be awkward with his dad. I'm excited to party with Katie and see Amanda and Trevor back home. AHH :)

You never were, and you never will be mine
No, you never were, and you never will be mine

There's a moment to seize every time that we meet
But you have always keep passing me by

But you never were, and you never will be mine

tomorrow is going to be so cute.
i'm making pancakes in the morning then going to visit my grandma.
she's going to make soup for me with little star shaped pastas in it.
:)

My dream last night

Catching butterflies
To catch or kill a butterfly, suggests that you are being too superficial.
(oh true)

Hare
To see a hare in your dream, represents swiftness, transformation or self-sacrifice. What are you giving up or sacrificing in your waking life? It may also symbolize your rash behavior or cleverness.

Rollercoaster
To dream that you are riding a roller coaster, signifies that you are experiencing erratic behavior brought on by yourself or a situation. You are experiencing frequent ups and downs in your waking life.

Stain
To see a stain in your dream, indicates a superficial and reversible mistake in your life. Consider and analyze the substance and color of the stain and the location of the stain itself. If you cannot remove the stain, then it represents guilt or your unwillingness to forgive and forget.

I can't

try for you anymore. It’s too hard, it hurts too much. Don’t think for a second that you’ll have another chance. Have a nice life sign languaging with her.

So today I woke up and I was in some random house. I have such a cool life. Just another regular night of me getting drunk and making out with random people. Woo.

I'm so hungover it feels like my brain is exploding.

I'm getting wasted tonight and I'm not going to let anything upset me.
Bring on the tequila babyyyyyy.

give me a sign

i
don't
know
anymore.

Hey guys wanna hear a funny story?
My fake ID got turned down at the bar when I'm 19 and I should have a real ID but I don't.
This is life's way of telling me I shouldn't be going to the bar when I should be studying for my exam tomorrow.
I'm tipsy and there was no point to me even drinking tonight. Just my luck, just my fucking luck.
Something good happen please because I'm such a fuck up.

typing in the dark is hard

I just slept from 6 until now and I wasn't even tired. I mean I was but I had no reason to be because I got more than enough sleep last night. I feel so tired and weak lately. Maybe I'm sick. I skipped lunch and dinner and I just want to go back to sleep or maybe not because I keep having fucked up dreams.

Bye.

2009

Go to your Calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2009.
Post the first few sentences or so of it in your journal, and that's your "Year In Review."

January
so far in 2009 i have stepped in a dog dish full of water, been caught by my friends, half naked in a bathroom with a boy, skipped an 8 hour shift at work and found my guinea pig dead.

February
You were a chill guy when we fist met and everyone else thought so too but ever since this semester started you have been a big dick.

March
I think something is wrong with me seeing as I slept 17 hours today and went to bed at 8 pm last night.
My body is so sore from dodge ball because I'm completely out of shape.

April
So I'm pretty angry that my stupid film exam has been moved to the 9th, the day before my birthday, instead of the 23rd. This means I'm going to move out a lot sooner than I expected.

May
Nothing like sneaking into The Hannah Montana movie and drinking a few coolers while watching it with your best friend.
Today was so good :D

June
I want to take my web piercing out because its so fucking dirty and I can't clean it because it is ever so hard to reach.
Maybe I'll put it back in when it's clean or when I get another ring.

July
I'm going downtown tonight with a bunch of people and getting drunk. I don't know exactly whats going down but I'm sure it will be a good night.

August
I've never felt like I was going to die more in my life than I did last night.
Bongs are evil.
The hotel party, dancing and jumping on the beds was fun though :)

September
Dance tonight and I'm not wearing my retarded welcome week leader shirt to it, they can deal.
BOWTIEEE♥

October
I don't like the way I'm becoming. I'm doing something I swore at the beginning of the year I wouldn't do but I'm fucking impatient so I can't help it.

November
i'm not looking forward to the next 2 weeks. i'm dead broke from buying my laptop so that means no party times this weekend.
i have a crush, oh hey!!!!!!!! what else is new, honestly.

December
My love life has been degraded to a bunch of drunken makeouts and hookups.
Bah,what can you do?

My life is utterly so lame and embarrassing.
2010 save me!

Fuck security, fuck feeling secure and comfortable.
Fucking live, feel scared, do something crazy, feel alive.

I'm living for today, not yesterday, not tomorrow. I'm living for right fucking now.

Today I'm going to go take my exam then go back to bed. I feel like shit, I've been having shitty dreams and I don't like to eat anymore. Not only is the food where I live so fucking gross but I've just been losing my appetite lately.

Look at me, I've gone and ruined everything
but if I could do it again I wouldn't have done it any other way.

You said you thought you weren't good enough for me and hey guess what? You were right.
Take what you can get now and wonder what could have been later.
Baby I'm so past it.

you can't say no forever

I thought that maybe I was so upset last night because I was drunk, nope. I'm still pretty upset and I don't really know what to do. It's all I can think about, I don't want to eat, I just want to lay here all day and watch movies until tonight when I can get drunk and go downtown and forget about everything.
I never realized how many people cared about me until after they saw me upset last night. That makes me incredibly happy.

I haven't been so heartbroken in a while.
Sorry isn't enough when you chose someone who has a fucked up face over me.
You never gave me a fucking chance but I'll win you over yet.
She doesn't stand a chance in hell.

cause you don't see me like i wish you would

It's Friday, party tonight, dance cave tomorrow night.
Stoked as fuck.

I updated my flickr today, go look and stuff

MA FLICKR

Wine me dine me, stand up 69 me

Hi bbyz.
Today I bought these:


And some boots.
Yeah, I don't really have much else to say other than 1 year single in 3 days.
My love life has been degraded to a bunch of drunken makeouts and hookups.
Bah,what can you do?

basically