I don't really know what I'm doing tonight but I'm sure it will be amazing (or I'm praying it will be)

The fact that I kept going on about how I was so proud of myself for being less shy around people, especially at work makes me so happy.
I'm friends with everyone at work and I love all the people I work with.
Work is all I talk about because I'm working more than I have since the summer but I really want to ask for a promotion to be a crew trainer since I'm clearly a McDonalds lifer.

I'm so tired of going out of my way to go downtown only to wander around like a drunken fool and not get into bars.
I mean, I love spending time with my friends who live there but I just want to get drunk and dance at a club for once.
I got myself so goddamn lost in downtown Toronto last night and was so drunk that I got into a car with some random guy. Like so sketchy.
HOW THE FUCK I ENDED UP AT BATHURST STATION I'LL NEVER KNOW
but what I do know is...when in trouble just cry because when people see you crying they will help you out.
idk I'm dumb bye.

fuck all you hoes
get a grip

let them talk
it ain't my fault
let them stay
let them snitch
let them be
let them die
let them hate
it ain't my fault they at the bottom
let them stay
let them say
let them lie
let them snitch
let them be
let them die

Merry Christmas

The only things I want for Christmas is money so I can pay my rent at the end of this month and my best friend.
I'm going to have no money left over from Christmas unless some stupid fuck decides to give me a giftcard.
My life is fucking sad. I'm not even going to get to go home for Christmas because of my fucking job and the fact that I can't afford to spend Christmas break sitting on my ass and partying.

I need Matt to get here so we can cuddle.
Bye.

Last nigh I dreamed I got promoted to team leader at McDonalds.
THIS IS WHAT I DREAM ABOUT.
My dreams are so sad.
Plus we all know I'm never getting promoted.
LOL

THIS FUCKING SONG RIGHT NOW

BLOWING MY MIND

I still can't get over the fact that I went to my friends house to drink on Friday night and barely socialized with anyone. I'm embarrassed of the way I am. Like who goes to a party and just sits there and get's drunk by themselves? Who sits there and waits for someone to think they are interesting enough to take two seconds of their time to talk to or see if they are ok or find out why they sitting by themselves?

These are the kinds of things I fucking do and I hate myself for it. I hate me for putting myself in a situation where I acted like this. I know this isn't a big deal but like most things, it is a big deal to me.

Everyone's facebook status today is all about how they are so hungover and about how much fun they had last night.
I think I'm done with partying until Chantel's birthday. Last night my night consisted of bed, warm blankets, watching castle in the sky, internetz, very little clothing and smoking.This what what I do when I'm by myself U JELLY? Best Saturday night eva.

MY BELLY BELLY BELLY ROCKIN EVERYWHERE

The next week is going to be dedicated to me and getting my life together.
Spending long amounts of time, alone, cleaning, watching movies, working out, going to work.
So oddly stoked.

Who the fuck let me dress myself or live for that matter?
3 years ago me...die

There's monsters at home
I feel so alone

My favorite foods

* Jello
* Canned soup
* Pears
* Marshmallow Fluff
* Green Tea
* Skim Milk
* Nesquick Strawberry Flavor Milk Mix
* Spaghetts
* Diet Coke With A Shot of Vanilla in it
* Fudge Sundaes
* Curry Chicken Flavored Mr. Noodles
* Fried Eggs
* Shrimp Chips
* Cherry Tomatoes/ Regular Tomatos
* Crunchy Peanut butter
* Tuna
* Pabst Blue Ribbon Light
* Hot Sauce
* Baby Carrots
* Masala Flavored Hummus
* Shrimp Rings
* Baby Carrots
* Mixed Canned Beans
* RADIATOR PASTA
* Gin
* Extra Spicy Chicken Wings
* Sushi
* Miso Soup
* Tonkatsu
* Mustard
* Raw Hot Dogs

Plans for this winter break

watch a shitload of animated movies including:

Yellow Submarine (preferable while high) shit looks trippy as hell
The Thief and the Cobbler
Secret Of NIMH
The Secret of Kells
The Triplets of Belleville
Ponyo
Legend of The Guardians : The Owls of Ga Hoole
Millenium Actress
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
Howl's Moving Castle
Felidae
Megamind
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Summer Wars
Castle in the Sky
Fantastic Planet (looks absolutely terrifying but I'll give it a try)
Mary & Max
Persepolis
Princess
Whisper of the Heart
Pom Poko
Only Yesterday
Kiki's Delivery Service
My Neighbor Totoro

On Saturday I went downtown to Sneaky Dees and used my passport (aka my real ID cause I haven't had a real one in a year) for the first time.
Other than the fact that I've begun to dress like an old lady, life has been pretty alright. I finish exams this week but I'm not going home for the holidays.

Found this on the washroom stall in the TTC bathroom. Pure class.

yeyeyeyey

30 day challenge, day 19

Disrespecting your parents

This is dumb.
I don't live with my parents.

I decided that down here in Rexdale I can't/will not be friends with any girls other than my roommates because all the girls I meet down here are stupid, annoying hoes.
BOYS AS FRIENDS FOREVA!!!

UGGGGG THIS IS JUST GOING TO BE ANOTHER STUPID CRUSH.
FUCK THIS.

I don't want to go to sleep

cause I have bad dreams. My mom tried to convince me that my room was haunted because I hear a woman screaming in my dreams and I can still hear it when I wake up. I can't even explain the dream I had last night but all I really remember was that I was sleeping in what looked like my grandmothers living room and people had died in that room in the dream. What the fuck. :(

My rat goes crazy after I clean her cage

she's all like " I have to put all this nice bedding that you put in my cage all neat into one fucking corner and make a shit ton of noise doing it so you can't sleep at night. Thnx bitch lol. Clean out my cage again soon."

Pictures of me cause I'm a vain bitch and I love myself

Today I bought knee high tights. They fit alright but they'd fit better if my legs were skinnier so imma work on that. So here's me just in case you missed me. Yay.

some bow I bought, you know...cause I need more bows....I'm not actually this skinny, it's just the lighting cause there's no fucking way my stomach actually looks like that. Boo hoo.

Oh and I'm going to try to leave my hair wavey forever cause I like the way it looks.

HOPE U HAD FUNTYMEZ BYE

This song ♥

You know how subatomic particles don't obey physical laws? They act according to chance, chaos, coincidence. They run into each other in the middle of the universe somewhere, and bang! Energy! That's the great thing about the universe. It's unpredictable. That's why it's so much fun.

30 day challenge, day 18

Your beliefs

This is too broad of a subject...
I don't know.
I believe that there is no such thing as a faithful relationship.
I believe that to get something, you have to work for it. If it's not worth it, don't give it any effort.
Only put effort in for the things you really, really want because having your efforts wasted on something or someone is probably one of the most horrible feelings.
I believe in the statement "why do today what you can put off till tomorrow?". Procrastinator for life. I believe that everyone talks shit about everyone behind their back, no matter who they are.

I looked so festive today, too bad no one saw me.
When I was going through my shit today I found lingerie that I bought and only wore once because I bought it to wear for some stupid guy that I wasn't even dating. I don't even see or talk to him anymore. What a waste of money. What the fuck am I gonna do with all this cute lingerie? Fml.

But I like all the wrong things

The OC, YTV, Charlie Chaplin, Beauty and the Beast, Hannah Montana, kids video games, promiscuous dancing, gin shots, Lindsay Lohan, Red Lobster, canned soup, Heath Ledgers's accent in Brokeback Mountain, hair bows, Party Monster, lipstick, Titanic, milk, on screen kisses, kittens, Drake, Cudi, bones, Mean girls and heavy petting. God, I fucking love that.

I need something to watch so I think I'm going to watch the whole skins series again instead of studying for my exams this week.
I already watched every episode of misfits and there's nothing I want to watch. I sorta gave up on glee and reality television. Degrassi isn't on till the new year and I don't know where the hell Doctor Who went.

I also took a bunch of pictures that I want to put up on my flickr but it's too much work. Do it 4 me k?

My favorite days are days when I don't leave my bed all day until it's time to go out at night. I wish I had a tiny kitten that could cuddle with me all day. There's a black kitten always hanging around my house and I am devising plans to catch it and make it mine.

I'm going to get high and go to the mandarin soon. This could quite possibly the best day ever.

30 day challenge, day 17

Your highs and lows of this past year

My biggest low was probably when I found out that a guy I really liked was with a girl that I thought was a lot less pretty than me. I obsessed over the fact that he picked her over me for months and would get upset about it almost every weekend. After I found out I think I cried for 4 days straight because I'm an emotional bitch.

Highs of this past year was pretty much most of the summer because everything that happened was just so great and I spent time with the most amazing people including my best friend who I practically lived with. Oh and also getting asked out on a date in February by the most amazing guy (or so I thought at the time).

Don't be so ambiguous, girl

I wish I could take Friday, November 12th and put it on repeat as every Friday night.

& yet again the ONE little tiny corner of the fridge that I have for my food has been taken up. So I guess I'm not buying groceries. Like sorry I don't have 347678834 tons of food in there to take up my one little tiny corner at the the moment but it wouldn't kill you to LEAVE IT EMPTY SO I CAN PUT MY GROCERIES THERE WHEN I BUY THEM SO I DON'T STARVE.
Thanks.

I gave up wearing eye liner

yay me

30 day challenge, day 16

Your views on mainstream music

If it's mainstream, has a good beat and isn't being play 5 times an hour on the radio then I like it. One thing I can't stand is when I find an amazing song that no one else knows about then the radio finds it and plays it to death. UGG.

In my experience there isn't any problem that can't be solved by getting really, really drunk.
Best thing I've heard all day.

waking up sad for no reason is my least favorite part of the day.

So I'm officially, temporarily obsessed with Misfits and these two beautiful boys:

ESPECIALLY THIS ONE:

I can be your new favorite waste of time, and you'll be mine.
All I want is your attention, it's all the same thing.
Are you in? What's it gonna be?
Don't roll with the punches, make it hard for me baby.