Second year university, January: How does it measure up to now? What has changed...? Bolded is present me

I wanted to see what was up in my life exactly a year ago so I checked my blog and tonight marks one year to the weekend we tried to get into the campus bar for the first time and I threw up at a house party on their couch. Wow that was fucking cool of me.
Not much has changed boy wise, I liked a stupid boy last year and I like another, cuter stupid boy this year. And I liked another stupid boy the year after that and I like another stupid boy right now. I kissed random boys last year and I kiss random boys this year. And now I fuck random boys.
I can say I'm still a significanly different person, I have more self confidence for sure which I love, I have more self controle when it comes to drinking too. I have too much self confidence and barely drink.
I love life this year. Life is mediocre. I'm letting someone else control my happiness and that's my own fault.


I guess I want to see what I was doing a year ago today also:
I can't even handle the way I look anymore. I don't even think I like my septum piercing on me but fuck it, I guess I'll keep it. I'm fucking hot and I'm so glad I took out my septum.
I feel like I'm going through a quarter life crisis and I don't know how to fix it. I still don't know how to fix it but things will get better, they always do. I think I'm going to go cut my bangs.
Living on my own is officially making me crazy. If i didn't live on my own I'd be crazy.
Bye.
Bye.

I've been reading my old blogs and it seems that every fucking January some asshole breaks my heart or I am in the process of mending my poor heart.
How the fuck do I even have feelings left?

but yeah

I think I’m just gonna stick to the guys I wont be interested in after one night

that way no one gets hurt….

well I don’t get hurt.

Too bad 4 everyone else and their feelings :’)

I don't think I'm built

for the whole “relationship” thing.

It goes 1 of 2 ways :

1. I’m just not THAT into them and I cheat on them

2. I’m too into them and I put a huge part of myself into the realtionship

and frankly no one deserves that much of me…

no one.

Making you regret what you did to me is not 'me winning'.

It’s everyone still losing.

Tilt my chin back slit my throat take a bath in my blood get to know me

Working out is the most positive way to channel all of my negative energy.

When I think of THAT feeling I can push my body as hard as I can and I can't feel anything.

It's wonderful.