I'm happy

today but that just might be the coffee. Maybe not. I have so many on and off day's it's scary but I feel like alcohol plays a part in the reason I feel like shit some days and not others. I'm going to try to cut that out of my life for the most part. It's going to be hard but I feel like part of the reason I drank was to meet boys and I kinda have a stupid ass crush on someone which I shouldn't so whatever. I'm sitting in class, learning about grad school and I want to drown myself in my coffee.

Found this

message I wrote to myself a year ago. I was so weird and sad. But then again, that's nothing new.

Hook up with someone. Live with them. Sleep with them. Tag along. Don’t be fooled. You are only a transitory distraction. Ask for commitment. Declare your love. Watch the set up evaporate.

Just gonna go ahead and let myself get fucked over again because for some odd reason I'm not good enough for anybody.

lol.

ugh

i look gross in every picture i post. hooooolllllllaaaa/ i’m hungover and drunk eating humus in bed.

some guy just left my bed even though i like someone else. this always happens. :(

my tummy is singing me a weird song tummy what do you want from me?

I need to buy vinegar and onions for the soul purpose of mixing them with beans cause I have like 12 cans of beans just sitting in my cupboard. TWELVE. And I want to eat them cause they are delicious.

BEANS.

I've decided that instead of being celibate I'm just going to be much more selective of the boys I choose. Makes life a little easier seeing as I'm 21 and being celibate is way harder than I thought it was going to be.